


Just Tonight

by P0tat0witheyes



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types, Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Car Accident, Death, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt, I'm Sorry, POV Carmilla, Post-Break Up, Sad times, car, loooool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:23:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5046616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/P0tat0witheyes/pseuds/P0tat0witheyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla and Laura decide to take a drive whilst a little worse for wear and well, that never ends well.</p><p>Carmilla's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> I'll say I'm sorry now and get it over with :')
> 
> ALSO The title is taken from the song of the same name by The Pretty Reckless and I recommend listening to it while you read because thats where I sort of got the idea from whilst on a bus earlier. #Classy. 
> 
> Enjoy!! (Don't hesitate to let me know if you think its shit or if its like slightly decent)

You’d known it was a bad idea. You'd known nothing good could have ever come from the situation you were in. Whether you’d actually given a shit or not, you couldn't tell.

You'd been at some frat boy’s party, you didn't even like the guy but you weren't one to turn down the chance to be completely drunk. Drunk had meant no longer able to feel any of the pain you felt yourself plagued with day after day. You were sick of it. Sick of your mother, sick of Mattie, sick of Will, sick of your father no longer being there to make it easier and absolutely sick of having to share living quarters with your ex. 

Laura. The girl you totally hadn't still been utterly head over heels in love with. But you’d known you couldn't have her. Not any more. And you’d known that it hurt her just as much as it hurt you. It’d broken you to see her so broken and being unable to wrap your arms around her like some weird shield; blocking out every negative feeling, thought or event that could possibly have attempted to knock her bright spirit. 

The party had been relatively dull, with the exception of the quick fuck in the bathroom with some random blonde girl whose name you don’t recall, whether that be due to the alcohol or the truly alarming quantity of pills you’d taken from one of the frat brothers earlier (You didn't know what they were, and frankly didn't really care). And even that hadn't been too thrilling. As mentioned, you didn't even remember her name. 

At the time, you’d pretended to yourself that you didn't know why you took the pills, especially with so much alcohol in your system too, but really you’d known they were just another method of trying to feel numb enough to drown out any form of pain from your mind and body. At least it’d worked. 

It wasn't long after that that you saw her. Laura that was. She’d been sat in a corner looking a little worse for wear but all the while, even with everything intoxicating every cell of your being, she’d still managed to be the single most beautiful thing you thought the world had ever created. They really did a good job on this one. Her light hair had been slightly messed up and she was slouched slightly showing you that she’d maybe had a little too much to drink by that point. Before you could stop yourself, you’d felt your legs carrying you closer to her and found yourself stood in front of her looking down.

“What do you want Caaarrrrmillaaaaaa?” She’d slurred out to you, after her eyes had finally met yours, she’d lazily pointed at your stomach and poked you, rolling the R in your name and putting a little too much emphasis on the A. You’d simply rolled your eyes at her and sighed.

You weren't sure what made you think your next “great idea” up, but something did and even now you’re not sure you fully regret it. You weren't exactly in the state of mind that most people would have called sane. Which is probably why you told her what you did.

“Let’s go for a drive. Get away from here. Just me and you, nobody else. I miss you and it hurts so I’d like you to join me” You’d avoided eye contact with her as you’d spoken the truth you never thought you’d get to say. She’d looked up at you curiously, or as curiously as she could in her state at the time, however your words had seemed to sober her up a little somehow. 

“Aren't we both a little too… Out of it to be driving?” She’d inquired, but at least it hadn't been an outright decline to your offer. 

“Probably… But honestly, are you really bothered?” Her response had been to shrug at you and stand up shakily. You’d grasped her hand and started to walk toward the door, getting your car keys out of the pocket of your infamous leather pants. You’d ignored the shrill yell of warning you got from ‘curly-sue’ on the way out about how you were “being a serious danger to yourself and others by driving and why not just get a taxi instead”. Maybe you should have listened to her. 

Before long you were doing 90 down the nearest highway, not caring how fast you went or how much control you’d even had over the car. You’d only bothered to care about the girl sat to your right, especially now as you’d noticed a tear or two rolling down her cheek when you’d glanced over. 

“Hey… Are you -?” You’d started quietly

“I miss you too… I miss you so much... “ She’d whispered, cutting you off. The crack in her voice had brought a lump to your own throat making it feel like you couldn't breathe, the ache in your chest became highly noticeable again. It’d felt like it was consuming your entire body. Apparently the drugs and alcohol hadn't been quite enough to block absolutely everything out for you. “I miss you every second of the fucking day. I miss the way you used to look at me, I miss the way you held me, I miss the way you made every fucking dark thought I ever had disappear. I even miss your stupid fucking sarcastic comments.” She’d slammed a hand down on the dashboard in front of her. “I miss you, I miss every fibre of your being Carmilla, and it hurts so much because I can’t have you again. At least not in this lifetime. It’s not fair on either of us Carm…” She’d broken off with a sob and you’d had to fight to choke back your own because you knew how she felt. You knew the feeling more than you now knew yourself. You didn't really know WHO you were any more.

You didn't really spend much time thinking about comforting her. You’d taken one hand off the wheel and tangled your fingers between hers. You’d rubbed the pad of your thumb against the back of her hand as you brought it up to your lips.

“I know…” You’d whispered, your breath hitting her skin. You’d taken your attention off the road to look over at her properly. Her eyes had been wide and in the light from the street-lights she looked exhausted. Physically and emotionally exhausted. Just like you felt. But she was still beautiful.

You’d been just about to meet her hand with your lips when she suddenly jerked round to face out of the window and you heard a loud beeping of a horn, a scream and a loud crack. 

You’d felt the car flip, over and over, flying off the side of the highway. Your head getting smacked against the window and the steering wheel in front of you. The ceiling and windscreen crunching and cracking every time a part of the car hit the ground again and in some brief, sick thought, it’d rather reminded you of a roller-coaster you’d been on once as a kid. Before your father had passed away. You realised you’d never taken your eyes off Laura the entire time and you don’t think you’d ever seen someone manage to look so scared but equally so at peace. You didn't even know it was possible. It was like she knew what was coming. 

The next thing you knew, the car had slammed sideways into a large tree at the opening of a forest at the side of the road, nearly snapping in two. It was crumpled, smashed and now eerily quiet. The only thing that could be heard were yours and Laura’s laboured breaths. The tree had hit Laura’s side and she now had a couple of large, weeping gashes across her forehead and across her chest. You’d quickly became very aware of the severe stinging and burning sensation in your own side before you’d looked down to realise a large shard of glass had nicely wedged itself in your abdomen. You’d felt yourself starting to grow weaker and you could see that Laura was struggling too. Her breaths had been getting slower and shallower by the second.

You’d been about to close your eyes and let go when you felt a very light touch on your hand.

“C-arm…” You’d heard her breathe out, using a lot of her remaining energy on that one word. You’d lazily opened your eyes again and turned slowly to face her. You’d not had long left. She tried to grip your hand a little tighter but it was rather futile.

“I…” She’d taken as deep a breath as she could. “I love you too…” She’d whispered. You’d tightened your grip around her hand as much as you could and forced yourself to ignore the pain as you leant forward to rest your forehead on hers. 

It wasn't long after that that you’d both slipped away into the stars. Together. But now it’s okay. You might not have your physical bodies any longer but you sure as hell had each other. After all, this was a different lifetime. So it could be fair if you wanted it to be. No more pain, no heroics, no hassle. Just you and her. Forever. How you always wanted it to be.


End file.
